Thursday, 7 January 2016

Moving Forward or something like that

So its about that time of the year when everything is in 'go' mode and you are wondering.... how do I move on from this sickness?. Well I have got news for you. Forget about what they say when they tell you to forget your status and just keep pushing forward. I find that train of thought doesn't strike home to me.I mean... How do you forget something that big? Its like having a swelling the size of a mango right between your eyes and you are now asked to forget about it and push forward.
What I find you CAN do is to deal with the issue and face your fears head on. The first step is to dig deep and reevaluate. Take your time because the race is not to the swift . Its not about who gets to the finish line first, its about who gets to finish.
Find :
1. Strength

You need all of it to deal with the issues at hand. I know its a difficult thing to summon but look at it this way, the alternative is not even an option. Cowering in fear, defeat and self abasement does you absolutely no good and guess what? It also does nobody else any good. Rather, it compounds your issue. Easier said than done right? listen! What do you have to lose if you cannot summon the strength? what is left of your life, that's what! But you can do better and rise above your situation like a phoenix. Boy! does it feel great to look the stupid disease in the face and say... You Cannot Beat Me.
2. Purpose
Why We Here on Earth
It is important to channel your energies appropriately. Find your niche and devote yourself to it. The good thing about this condition is that it forces you to re-prioritize. Life is too short and way too precious to wander through aimlessly. Take up a hobby, get into your zone and be super good at it. Then watch the transformation. It's worth it.

3. Passion
For me, I find that devoting myself to my faith is soothing. I am passionate about my faith. Some people find it in love but God is love anyway. Some find it in their careers and that is great too. Whatever works for you. The crucial thing is to give it your all and allow it to come from within. It works.

Again I say this. Life is short. Live it up! I'm a cup half-full kinda gal. There's always a bright side, you just have to open your eyes and look for it.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Genesis (The Story) 1

I woke up one morning in 2014, restless. I was feeling unwell. I seemed to be unwell very often. I'm usually not sickly. In fact, I rarely fall ill. This was different. Sick Ruby Gloom by empty-10
In a space of three months, I had treated the flu, cough, and malaria illnesses. What is wrong with me? ( I thought to myself).
Never one to dwell on a problem but seek solutions, I scheduled myself for a Doctors appointment. I was to see Dr Tillman (fictional name) the following day.
I showed up to the hospital; exhausted but otherwise feeling a little better and explained my issue. Nodding his head and scribbling on his notepad (why Doctors always do that is beyond me), Dr Tillman finally sent me to the lab for Malaria/Typhoid tests.  Maybe Typhoid was a possible reason for the frequent Malaria.

I got to the lab and absentmindedly asked if they could also run an HIV test. I recalled that it had been over six months since the last time I carried out routine HIV tests; a nasty habit I picked up ever since I became sexually active. Anyway, they were happy to oblige and I sat in the waiting room for hours or so it seemed until I got called into the consultants office.
My heart sank so low, I could've sworn it had dropped to my feet. That was odd. They never did this the other times I did HIV tests. I chucked it up to new protocols being adopted and blithely followed the Lab attendant to the office. 
To this day, I can never figure out why counselors prevaricate when they deliver difficult news. I think it only increases apprehension.

Terrified Baby Face -

Then I heard the most terrifying six words anybody should ever have to hear... 
"I'm sorry, you are HIV positive".